The Mug Shot. Next week, the story behind this hardened criminal…
Tagged with motherhood …
The Motherhood Manual: How to balance a duck on your head while cooking a perfect soufflé
What?!? Those of you who know me well, know that there is NO WAY I ever balanced a duck on my head or had one within a couple feet yards miles of my head (I have a somewhat irrational fear of birds- but that’s a long unrelated post for another time) and you also know … Continue reading
The Motherhood Manual: Poop happens.
Maybe it’s because I took my paid vacation last week. Maybe it’s because I just haven’t felt like my posts have been very inspired lately. Maybe it’s because it’s been awhile since I’ve written about poop. I’m not sure why, but for some reason I feel a need to smack you with another poop story. … Continue reading
Gimme a break!
I’ve done a pretty good job of keeping up with my self-imposed posting schedule, but it’s just not going to happen this week. So, rather than spending the week putting out stuff I’m not happy with and feeling stressed about keeping up with my posts, I’m simply taking the week off. Yep. I have a self-imposed … Continue reading
The Motherhood Manual: Jolene, Jolene…
I have referred in the past to “Jolene,” and it seemed appropriate to me that I should post about the origin of the saying while we are on vacation in Palm Springs. You see, that’s where it all began three years ago. Some of you know my two sons, J & S (remember, I’m supposed … Continue reading
The Motherhood Manual: The turkey baster, the toilet, and the toddlers
When the boys were little, my dad would help me out by watching them two days a week while I went to work for a few hours. This was a huge help to me and, I think for the most part, was a good time of bonding for my boys and their Papa. Usually when … Continue reading
The Motherhood Manual: Who’s the grown up here? or How to discipline your child.
I am fortunate to have two boys who largely do the right thing. Up to this point, we haven’t had any major behavior issues (meaning the authorities haven’t been involved… well, I guess they were once, but that’s a different story for later). They’re mostly nice to each other and to their parents and I’m … Continue reading
The Motherhood Manual: How fast do I have to drive to go to jail?
As I drove along I could see that my speed was higher than the posted limit and was steadily increasing. Usually when one notices this, he or she puts on the brakes or eases off the gas to bring the car back closer to the speed limit. On most occasions that is exactly what I … Continue reading
The Motherhood Manual: “When the *spit* hits the fan”
Earlier I gave the Reader’s Digest Condensed version of this story… Jason was gone. The dog puked. The kids pooped. The poop was on the wall. I kicked a hole in the wall. The end. Put that way, it almost looks like some kind of poetry. Go ahead, read it again with your poetry voice … Continue reading
The Motherhood Manual: Ya, I kicked a hole in the wall… what of it?
Last week I mentioned that in one of my less than Hallmark-worthy parenting moments, I kicked a hole in a wall. I am a good mom, so how could that be? Oh, trust me, it can happen. I think I can pretty succinctly sum up the story as follows: Jason was gone. The dog puked. … Continue reading