Earlier I gave the Reader’s Digest Condensed version of this story… Jason was gone. The dog puked. The kids pooped. The poop was on the wall. I kicked a hole in the wall. The end. Put that way, it almost looks like some kind of poetry. Go ahead, read it again with your poetry voice … Continue reading
Filed under The Motherhood Manual …
The Motherhood Manual: Ya, I kicked a hole in the wall… what of it?
Last week I mentioned that in one of my less than Hallmark-worthy parenting moments, I kicked a hole in a wall. I am a good mom, so how could that be? Oh, trust me, it can happen. I think I can pretty succinctly sum up the story as follows: Jason was gone. The dog puked. … Continue reading
The Motherhood Manual: How I’ve brain-washed my kids
Today I decided to do a bit of a departure from my traditional Motherhood Manual post, and I asked my kids if they think I’m a good mom. Ha! Like they can give any answer other than yes, to the person who feeds them, drives them, provides their allowance, etc. So, knowing their very existence … Continue reading
The Motherhood Manual: *#%! …I’ll see you tomorrow!
I sat up in bed, slammed my hand down on the bedcovers to my left, and yelled *#%! (which I can tell you is a REALLY bad word that I pretty much never say). I got out of bed, grabbed my robe, and barely glanced at my bewildered husband as I stomped into my baby’s room to … Continue reading
The Motherhood Manual: Why you need to rush out and buy some techno music
First off, there are at least two (thousand) conflicting opinions on whether you should ever wake a baby. Do you wake him so he will be on a regular feeding schedule, or do you “never wake a sleeping baby” (see chapter on knockers to determine if you have a high enough pain threshold)? In the … Continue reading
The Motherhood Manual: How to nurse in public without baring it all …kind of
One of my friends totally called me out on last week’s post. In my post, I made it sound like I simply nursed my baby and put him to bed (Hallmark image). She reminded me, however, that as a new mom I felt pretty shy about nursing in public, even in front of friends. The … Continue reading
Oh look… a chicken!
At my house we often use the quote “oh look… a chicken!” when someone says something totally off topic. We first saw the phrase on a t-shirt in Wireless or Signals or one of those other similar magazines that show up before Christmas. It was on a t-shirt that said something about “People say I … Continue reading
Motherhood Manual: Knockers in the woods… and I’m not talking doors
Before having children, my husband and I went camping. Not a ton, but some. I was never a diehard, “hike for miles (uphill in the snow) while carrying all my belongings on my back” kind of camper, but was all for the “load up as much food and snacks as possible into the back of … Continue reading
Motherhood Manual: Tea and Beer …or Mother of the Year Award Slips through Fingers
I feel that before I embark on my little full disclosure “Motherhood Manual,” I should first put a few things out there. 1. I am a good mom. 2. I love and almost always like my children. 3. My children love and almost always like me. 4. No children (or parents… you’ll see what I’m … Continue reading
The Motherhood Manual- I have all the answers.
Yesterday I told you how babies and blog buttons are related. Today, I am sharing the first installment of my Motherhood Manual, which will cover many other tidbits I’ve learned from my time with babies. That’s right, let the wisdom flow… Prologue Preface Background: A few years ago, I had a baby. He was my … Continue reading