One of my favorite stories of my son, Spencer, is from when he was in kindergarten and picked out a heart-shaped Care Bear lunch box for school. I remember asking him if he would be okay with it if someone gave him a bad time about it and I loved his reply. He said, “that’s okay; I’ll just tell them they don’t have to like it, but I do.” I remember at the time praying that he would always be that comfortable with himself.
I want that for me. I want to be secure enough in myself to put it out there and not have it matter if someone clicks “like” on the Facebook page or leaves a comment or not.
I want to be that example to my children, for them to have that kind of confidence. I don’t want them to be arrogant or self-absorbed, but I want them to know that their worth is not determined by those around them. I believe that for myself and about myself, but I have been assaulted by self-doubt in this process and I don’t want to be that person.
Therefore, I will no longer be glued to the stats on my blog. While they give me boosts of self-esteem when they are going up, whenever the number of visits in a day flattens or, God forbid, drops, my confidence in my writing and the value of what I’m doing does the same.
So, to those of you who click the “like” or tweet or whatever buttons or leave me comments, thank you. To the rest of you, it’s okay. I know you still are reading and still like me. And, even if you don’t, you are not responsible for me being okay with me. I am.
I like what I’m doing and I like me. I’ll be okay.
So… starting now, I’m ignoring my stats and just writing for me. Thanks for bearing with me during my melt down.